The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
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