so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
