But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
