we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
