It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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