why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
