Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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