I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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