He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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