I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
