My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
