chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
