I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
