I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
