no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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