i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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