im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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