grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
