Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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