cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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