remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
