After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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