Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
