I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
only you would photoshop your dick
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
