My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
stop calling my apartment porn island.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
