Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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