Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
