woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
