This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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