My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
It's rum buckets o'clock
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
you never un-have a 4some
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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