I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
