Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
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