That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize
