if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
