We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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