Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
