I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
