then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
