Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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