It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
