im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
