I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
