I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
