Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
