i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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