I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
