There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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