You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
