that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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