new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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